Preserving American Values

Recently, doing research into the inner child, I learned that our wounded inner child is the avatar of our ego-mind. That the wounded inner child is thus very much alive in our adult selves. So when we react with our emotions, when we see things through the filter of our ego-mind, it is not the adult who is expressing itself but our wounded inner child.

Thus, when two people fight or bond or react to each other in whatever way, it is the one’s wounded inner child interacting with the other. It is not two adults interacting. This holds true within the family, in the workplace, in politics, and in international relations.

This is consistent with what I noted in an earlier post, “Ever Wonder Why the World Is the Way It Is” (9/4/17 – see under Modern Man): “the ego-mind is not only filled with the fear, anxiety and self-centeredness (and often aggression) caused by insecurity but through continued wounding has acquired the lack of faith, trust, and cynicism of the Devil, which makes the dysfunction we observe all that more intractable. And it explains the specter of evil that we see in all corners of the world.

Is there any wonder then why there is so much dysfunction in the world? Certainly if one looks at the behavior of our current President [Trump] and many members of Congress, the image of out-of-control children seems apt.

The common assumption that as we grow older we mature and assess things differently, more rationally, than we did as a child is wrong. We grow smarter, we have more knowledge that we apply to situations, but in terms of our emotional reactions we have not grown out of our wounded inner child … unless we have healed that child.

This realization provides possible hope for change. Few people would choose to see themselves as out-of-control children.

OK. But how can we use this knowledge to bring about a change in how we, individually and collectively, interact; how do we end the dysfunction? No one will change their habit-energy unless they are motivated to change. And what motivates people to change is the awareness that there is a problem that’s creating a barrier to achieving some goal.

Here, the problem is that we are suffering. If you’re aware of that suffering, and assuming that you would rather not suffer and instead experience some peace and happiness, you will be motivated to undertake the effort needed to change.

If you then come to accept that your wounded inner child is controlling your emotions and thus is the source of that suffering, the process of healing the inner child can take place. 

Unfortunately, if you asked Donald Trump or members of Congress or indeed most men if they are suffering they would answer, “no.” If you asked them if they loved themselves, they would either answer, “yes,” not really understanding the meaning of the question, or look at you blankly, confused.

People who are not open to admitting their innermost feelings are lost, in a spiritual sense. They are in denial. Any attempt to talk about their wounded inner child, let alone that they are controlled by that child, would just be met with laughter and derision.

Women, however, are often said to be more in touch with their feelings and so are more likely to be aware of their suffering. But women unfortunately don’t control the workings of the world; men do. And those women who have broken into that circle I have the suspicion are unfortunately not the ones who are more in touch with their feelings.

So if there is to be a break-through in the human condition, it will have to come from “average,” not-obsessed-with-overachieving, women. Women carry the main burden of raising children, regardless whether they are working or not. If they were able to pursue that task free of their wounded inner child, that would give their children a real chance of getting the nourishment they need and developing into strong adults free of hobbling insecurities, free of being wounded.

This would be huge. It would break the cycle I described in my book, Raising a Happy Child, of insecure parents raising insecure children who become insecure adults who …. That book provides practical advise on how parents can free themselves from their own problems, from their own insecurity, and so raise happy, secure children.  It would change the future of human interaction.