Preserving American Values

The New York Times recently reported on a study conducted in 20 countries around the world of 200,000 people that found that young adults, ages 18-29, were struggling with their physical and mental health, their perceptions of their own character, finding meaning in life, the quality of their relationships and their financial security.  

This was consistent with a 2023 Harvard study of young adults in the US, that found that they were twice as likely as teenagers to experience anxiety and depression. and that participation in community organizations, clubs and religious groups has declined resulting in loneliness now becoming as prevalent among young adults as it is among older adults. 

Having worked in schools for many years, the findings related in these studies are not surprising. But the article barely mentions the elephant in the room: technology. Yes, there are many things going on in the world and people’s lives that contribute to this lack of flourishing. But the major factor of technology is not mentioned till the end of the article, and then only as an aside. 

The impact of technology, especially on youth and young adults has been extreme in the last decade. Studies have shown clearly what the psychological and social impact of obsessive use of screens has been on youth. They are dependent on their screens for feeling connected rather than interacting with peers and so they feel lonely, they have actually lost the ability to communicate with live people, and they have neglected themselves in many ways. 

How we enable youth and young adults to free themselves from their addiction to their screens is a major question. It’s not just a question of parents limiting screen time. This is an addiction, and like any addiction, it must be dealt with in a fundamental way. 

And yet this addiction is different in important ways.  Technology, including social media, is an accepted part of the work environment today.  Not just accepted, expertise in these areas is often required by jobs today.  So one doesn’t have the option of “quitting” the use of screens.

Some type of 12-step program needs to be developed that weans people from the obsessive use of screens, while enabling them to continue to use screens as needed in the workplace.  For example, one could limit use of social media to the workplace, and not use it outside the workplace. 

I recently read an article which reported on a study that showed that teenagers are starting to report that social media is harmful rather than a good thing. This is a beginning to build on. Recognizing the harm of obsessive screen use is an essential element of people freeing themselves from this addiction.

In addition to the impact of technology, there are other factors which impact feelings of self-esteem among youth and young adults.  From my work in middle schools, young men seem to be more disconnected from their studies than young women. They seem more troubled.  

But why?  Studies show consistently that it is young women who are more stressed, have more anxiety and depression. Yet there are also studies that show that young men feel discriminated against or troubled by the increasing rise of women.  Boys are raised to be “men.”  Yet what is the role of a man today?

On another issue impacting youth, one thing seems clear.  The increased freedom of youth, post-puberty, to express themselves sexually has seemed to increase the psychological impact of puberty, not decreased it.  Both males and females seem confused and unsure of themselves.  Which makes sense: they’ve been given freedom to act, but that hasn’t been accompanied with the maturity needed to be truly comfortable with that freedom and its implications.

The other factor which has always been recognized as having a major impact on the self-esteem of youth has been the extent that their relationship with their parents is trusting and positive, and the quality of the relationship of their parents with each other.  Given that in 2014, only 46% of children lived in a family with both original parents, compared to 73% in 1960, it is to be expected that the self-esteem of youth would be significantly impacted, both because their relationship with their parents is different, and because the relationship between the parents is probably not of high quality.

There are many changing factors which impact how youth and young adults feel today, especially in the more advance Western countries—I have touched on just a few.  How to sort these matters out and provide children/youth with the support they need to grow up secure, with good self-esteem is a real challenge.

Since I am a firm believer that most social problems/problematic behaviors stem from how a child is raised—their formative experiences in the home—I would suggest that the most straight-forward way in which to address this broad issue is to help parents do a better job at raising their children to be prepared for life.  As one example, see my book, Raising a Happy Child.